Bottlenecks are Bobbin along nicely

MORECAMBE rock-kids Bottlenecks, played what was being muted in the hallowed corridors of rock-school as the band's last Lancaster gig at the city's Bobbin last week. Unsigned, naturally, popped in for a bit to wallow in this momentous event. These youngsters don't half take their rock seriously. And so, it seems, do their audience who quite literally filled the not inconsiderable pub and enthusiastically hollered their appreciation. Bottlenecks really are quite a bunch of highly skilled musicians who, in the unlikely event that old-style heavy metal ever becomes fashionable again, could sit comfortably at the top of the rock pile' Only problem is, if they're off to London to ,make the big time' they're going to have leap that song-writing hurdle and come up with material that at the very least, equals the quality of the copious and well-played covers that are liberally scattered throughout their set'  Thumbs up for the lads anyway. But Jennie Chapman has a rather different view, see her review on this page. Tonight (Fri), The Frightened Prisoners of the Kraken will be treating punters down at the Yorkshire House to the contents of their obviously disturbed minds. This is the Darwen band's Lancaster debut and it should prove, from what I've heard on their CD 'Man Car Plane', interesting to say the very least. Miss it at your peril, it could just be amazing. Anyway, if it's crap you can always leave ... nothing ventured and all that. On Thursday (20) evening the wondrous Puma Sutras will be at The Bobbin whilst next weekend (Sat 22) sees yet another farewell gig as Lancaster's Opaque play upstairs at The Yorkie. By contrast to The Nex, Opaque are seeking a seemingly more credible fortune north of the border in the musically superior, though potentially less fiscally rewarding Glasgow.

Sorry boys you're well out of tune

LIKE that new vodka bar that's just opened In  town,   The Bottlenecks  perplex me. Stay with me here. The vodka bar, while it lures me with Its delicious concoctions, repels me in equal measures      with its fussy dress code and irritating choice of background music. And  The Bottlenecks, while they attract me with startlingly good musicianship,  perfectly- boned sound and a quite ... imposing, shall we say, stage presence, they have a fatal flaw which threatens to ruin all else In which they excel. They just ain't got no decent songs of their own. When it's covers, fine. More than fine, dammit, these kids are the masters of their game as far as thrash- lng out eighties pomp- rock numbers. Yep, it's when they belt out those cheesy classics like 'Sweet Child  of  Mine', 'Knocking on Heaven's Door' and 'Livin' on a Prayer' that you feel you are standing In the presence  of   true genius. And   the almighty crowds ever- present at Bottlenecks' gigs lap it up hungrily. It just a shame that at their last gig at The Bobbin they chose to load with their self- penned tunes, which, sadly, were only desperate,  malformed replicas of songs by the great hands they aspire to. This meant that a basically dull set was punctuated by moments of greatness - the covers. Ah, boys. How you perplex me. But you are young, and I only hope you will see that the route you seem Intent to take win not b~ fortune. It Is old-hat, unmarketable      and        of mediocre quality when Black Sabbath, Guns 'n' Roses and Iron Maiden      are      still provocatively wiggling their assets on the record shop shelves. You are good musicians. Admit defeat, do what you do best, belt out the hits we know and love and make tons of money from an adoring public. You know it makes sense. JENNIE CHAPMAN